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Confessions of the “non-feminine” kind

“But every woman loves going to the mall!!”

I cannot even begin to count how many times I’ve had the same surprised … nay …. jaw-dropping reaction to my disinterest in going to a 50,000 square-foot zoo of clothes, shoes, knickknacks, and fast food. I just find it a terrible waste of time.

It’s crowded. There’s always the temptation to buy junk food. You browse and browse and browse and after some time it all starts looking the same.

When I can buy almost everything stocked in a mall online, why would I go through the hassle of driving to a shopping center teeming with people, spend an average of 15 minutes looking for a parking spot, and tire my soles walking from one end to the other because the two stores I need stuff from are at opposite ends of the mall?

And why would I lug those bags when I can get the same items delivered (for free most of the time) to my doorstep?

Even on those rare occasions that I do end up going to the mall (and believe me, before taking that extreme step I try everything in my power to avoid it!) I’m in and out in half an hour.

I know exactly what I want, which shop I’m headed to, and how much I’m willing to pay. If I don’t find what I’m looking for in that one store, I head out in 10 minutes. If I do, I try it on … if it fits, I pay for it and am on my way. I can’t look at one thing in one store, then head to another to compare the style, the price, the what-have-you … I just don’t have the patience.

Same applies to manis, pedis, facials — too much time investment. When all you really need is a daily cleaning-moisturizing regimen. The only time I’ve experienced these extravagances is right before my wedding. To make mom happy.

Makeup? My “kit” includes a foundation, a mini eyeshadow box (a gift), and lip balm.

Jewelry? I’m not into diamonds, let’s just say that. Or gold. Or silver. I go for the $2 earrings, have worn the same modest ring for the last nine years without any urge to “upgrade” and even though I got my nose pierced last week, I know the stud’s only going to be replaced (if at all) with other $2 equivalents. The more expensive the jewelry, the more a waste of money it seems. $800 for a tiny piece of rock that catches the sun? That could be my trip to Kauai!

Handbags? Most days you’ll see me with a cloth sling bag just big enough to hold my wallet, phone, and keys. It’s practical.

It’s not just women who think I’m weird when I express my disinterest in these supposedly “feminine” things. It’s also men.

“You’d rather stay back and play Monopoly with us instead of going to the mall with our wives? Are you sure?” ask my male friends.

When we visit our friend in San Francisco, he always insists we go to the Bloomingdale’s across his house.

I always ask for other options.

“You’d rather hike when you’re sitting in the middle of this shopping mecca?” he asks eyes widened, mouth open, voice shrill.

I think heels are impractical, pantyhose is useless, and perfumes are for those who smell bad enough for others to notice. And don’t even get me started on lacy lingerie — such a scam!

It’s not that I’m not “girly” — whatever that’s supposed to mean — but these are just some things other women enjoy and I don’t. It’s just that simple.

Some female friends have commented that I enjoy defying stereotypes, but I really don’t have an agenda.

All I ask is why restrict yourself with labels? Why not do something you truly enjoy doing instead of being stuck with society’s notion of what you should and shouldn’t do? There’s a whole world of opportunities out there for me to discover — why shouldn’t I experiment?

Men like this, women like that — oh  baloney!

Unearth the joys of discovering yourself. And go do what you like!

Side note: try doing a Google image search with the keyword “shopping.” No surprises 🙂

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